The semester is finally over! For high school students, now is the time to be thankful that you finally got rid of that teacher, and pray you never have that teacher again. Which teacher might that be? Here are 8 types of teachers you are bound to cross paths with in high school:
1. The Misplaced College Professor
It’s the insinuated-yet-asservated hegemony of men that engendered the genesis of the contemporary feminist movement… Wait, what? It’s first period, and you understood about 15% of what your teacher just said. If only you read the dictionary as often as you read BuzzFeed…Alas, you resign to teaching yourself the material from the textbook later that night.
2. The Couch Potato (a.k.a. the one who doesn’t want to be there…)
She wears slippers to school, falls asleep during class, and constantly complains about her responsibilities… She’s like your lazy friend, except she’s your teacher. She disappears halfway through the class, only to return 10 minutes later with a Diet Coke and a Jimmy John’s sandwich—where she went, no one knows.
3. The Caffeine Addict
Thisteacherspeakslikethis—well, when they have their caffeine fix, that is. The mark of this teacher is the smell of coffee beans pervading the room, and you spot 2—no, 3—empty mugs lying around the room. Without their daily triple espresso, though, beware: This teacher turns into a sleep-deprived monster of the deep.
4. The Teacher Who’s Still a Student
Your class has a group message (started by this teacher, no less) and your teacher just invited you all over for a movie night… It’s half-cool and half-disconcerting, and you can’t decide which.
5. The Rebel Teacher
Down with rubrics! Down with grading scales! Down with homogenized education! This teacher makes it known that they’re not like the other teachers—they won’t conform to NCLB standards or force you to take silly aptitude tests that measure nothing but your ability to memorize facts you won’t ever nee- okay, maybe they’ll still make you take the tests, but they’ll make sure you know that they do not support them!
6. The TMI Teacher
You come by after class one day with a quick homework question, and you suddenly find yourself entangled in a conversation about cheating boyfriends… This isn’t a rare occurrence with the TMI teacher. Every weekend is one worth sharing—for all of Monday’s class time, no less—and you really didn’t need to know about how sick her dog was last month or how she met someone at a concert last night. You really didn’t need to know.
7. The Disciplinarian
There’s no other way to go about saying this: You are terrified of this teacher. She’s a grammar nazi, a neat freak and a tolerator of absolutely no BS—you respect her, sure, but you can’t help but sweat before turning in every assignment. Sometimes she wonders aloud why nobody raises a hand during her class… Every student in the room is mentally screaming, because YOU!
8. The Newbie
This teacher—or should I say, student—graduated college a few weeks ago. He always has a smile on his face, yet to be hampered by the antics of miserably misbehaved high schoolers—you’re almost saddened by his enthusiasm. You’ll learn, you sigh jadedly, oh, you’ll learn.
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